heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
