You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize