Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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