Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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