Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
