i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So here I am, sexting at work.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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