Nicole vs. Life
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
