You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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