I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize