Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
