And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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