You don't have asthma, your pregnant
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
