Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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