It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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