I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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