I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
