His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
