god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
