I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
