woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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