SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
