My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize