She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize