I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
