we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
