I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
