I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
