i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
