So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
