i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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