Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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