You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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