the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
