So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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