Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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