my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize