Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
