She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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