Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
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I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
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"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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