You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
