Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yes give me all the cream and he's gone

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.

(803): View more from South Carolina

He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior

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(914): View more from New York

I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.

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(785): View more from Kansas

In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets

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(+61): View more from Australia

I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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(281): View more from Texas

I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.

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(315): View more from New York

If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..

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