It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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