...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
