Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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