I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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