My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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