redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
