IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize