I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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