I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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