my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
