her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
