I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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