My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
