i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
