You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
